Opening Statement
OPENING STATEMENT
TO MY DARING READER,
Being on quest for inner understanding is like fighting an internal war of emotions. Many obstacles make themselves known throughout our spiritual trek. They sometimes confuse, frustrate, and even make you question the very essence of whom you are!
Life is a unique quest. People come and go through it like a busy subway station in some urban city. My poetry, my words, my black verse are representations of what I have been through up to this point in life, my view of the world. My life is a palette of colors on a canvas that is not yet completed, a masterpiece waiting for the next event to present itself so that it can be written in the form of poetic black verse.
I once asked a music teacher, “What do you feel is the most important thing in life?”
He said, "Human decency."
I just looked at his eyes. They spoke with so much conviction that his eyebrows rose up to meet the wrinkles on his forehead. And his lips uttered disgust like when one’s spine is jolted with the electrical shock of the truth. Stillness arises from its slumber and your ears suddenly find peace in hearing God use one of his tools to give you a message.
I told the music teacher, “Thank you!” I shook his hand and smirked! And the essence in my physical body released itself with such a jubilant force that the headache that had attached itself to me earlier and made me its prisoner finally dissipated.
The music teacher used the harmony of his soul to touch mine, and for the few seconds that it took him to answer my question, I was enlightened by his musical opus. His muse whispered the only response that it could utter in his ear, for the muse knew that he grew tired of what he heard, felt, and saw around him!
I couldn't help but think about world suffering; compassion has truly grown obsolete in our spoiled society. A tsunami of hatred has swept over us like a shadow constantly looking for light. Yet humility found substance in a man who lets music move his soul, who every morning plays his musical piano chords in the school auditorium, as if to calm the restless heart of the beast trying to stay warm during the winter months. He clings on to hope because he knows that his musical craft brings people together. And if one musical note that he preaches and teaches generates a smile on a first grader’s face, the beacon of hope and light is forever there! And Mr. Mendelsohn’s Human Decency shines through!
A few months later, I was forsaken with emotional turmoil. A wave of negative energies swept through me and rocked my foundation. My faith in the spiritual diminished, like a falling, dwindling star in the night sky. Dullness clouded everything about me. I even questioned if God had a God.
Lost, I found myself taking short day trips to the mountains. I went to find solace and to meditate. Although the beauty of nature captivated the artistic side of me, I could not find the antidote to cure the poison that my spirit had ingested.
The last day of my summer vacation eventually came. The painful dreadful thought of just going back to work entered my head many times. It seemed unbearable, like the US Customs agent at the airport stamping passports all day long, scratching his head with disgust.
That last night of freedom was special. In my dreams, the universe presented Lord Chaos to me, and the universe uttered to me in a low whisper, “I am the one they sent.” These six words became the basis of this work.
The several dreams that followed were interesting. Various essences presented themselves to me and told me that the answer I sought would come to me through random people I would meet in life. And they were right!
Monday came and it was one of the hottest days in August, as if Lucifer himself was squatting over the city of Paterson, NJ, and blowing out hot air with his lips. My inner self wanted to hear the remedy that would make me feel better, and it came from the least expected person. He was a custodian at the school in which I worked.
The man’s sweat soaked through the clothing he was wearing. The perspiration rolled down his face in the form of a trailing tear. He was doing his best to wipe his face with the white towel he had. Years of hardship were evident in the flow of his energies. The trials and tribulations of his life made themselves known just by staring into his eyes. You could tell there was pain in his heart and that the smile he would project was just a facade, like the beauty of a cathedral church in which the walls are cursed and the cries of prayers are not answered by God!
A thought entered my mind. What if I went up to Columbia (his nickname) and asked him what the most important thing in life was? What would he say?
I found him cutting branches off some bushes in the front of the school. School #15 was safely nestled in the ghetto mother’s womb, wreaking decadence, crying for help! Seeking peace, it was isolated atop of the old cemetery and blocked on all sides, a cul-de-sac of broken dreams. He was trying to create beauty where ugliness has always existed.
As I approached him, he looked up and knew that I was coming his way. He only spoke Spanish and I speak Spanglish, a situation in which I knew I would struggle to express myself. I asked him, “Columbia, sorry to disturb you, but I was just wondering if I could ask you a question?”
He said, “Of course.”
Without hesitation, I asked, “What do you feel is the most important thing in life?”
In the half second that it took him to answer the question, the sun beamed down on him, a yellowish white halo that surrounded his body like an angelic aura standing amidst chaos! He said to me, "The most important thing in life to me is making peace with God."
My facial expression softened like a pure cotton bath towel that had just come out of the dryer. My eyes moistened with the strongest desire to cry that I have ever had! Nothing else mattered to me. I could hear his words resonating in my mind, like an echo being carried endlessly at the Grand Canyon. The chains and shackles that kept me prisoner had been released by the words Columbia had spoken.
No matter what words have been written by mortals about religion, only one thing matters. The belief that something greater exists and having and making peace with that special something is very important. Letting your higher self understand that is euphoric in the sense that you let go of yourself and become consumed with contentment. One of the highest degrees one can achieve in life is that universal happiness, To understand the self is to understand the inner workings of others.
Columbia, you are truly a gifted philosopher.
Change came rapidly after this to perpetuate a new me, a prerequisite of this new work. I was able to use my experiences and a fusion of some older works worthy of the title "I am the one they sent" to create this new book. The darkness gave birth to something positive, Lord Chaos, although I am still trying to determine who this essence truly is! But isn't that what we all really want, understanding?
I am only one voice among many. Although there is something eccentric about my tone, I am but a mere man standing in simplicity, holding my pen, and perfecting a godly craft that is righteous in the sense that we can destroy and create with the written or spoken word. God is a Poet! And we, as his people, have born witness to his love, happiness, ugliness, hatred, and complexity!
I hope you enjoy the words on the following pages. Keep an open mind and seek out the meaning. Every individual is different and unique in finding the emotion that triggers the poet to write. But most of all, you should write and say what you feel! You'll feel better about yourself.
Julio Anguita
March 2009
JulioAnguita@aol.com.
